Friday, July 29, 2011

Are you a Carrot, an Egg, or a Coffee Bean?

Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?

by Pamela DeWitt on Sunday, August 15, 2010 at 6:11pm
I found this in the local paper on 14 August 2010. It is written by my pastor, Dave Goodale.


"Let me tell you why you are here. You're here to be salt-seasoning that brings out the God-flavors of this earth. If you lose your saltiness, how will people taste godliness? "Here's another way to put it: You're here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world." ----Matthew 5: 13-14


There is a story about a young man who went to see his mother,and told her about how things in his life were getting too hard for him. He did not know how he was going to make it and wanted to give up. He was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

His mother took him to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to a boil.

In the first pot she placed carrots, in the second pot she placed eggs, and in the last pot she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil, without saying a word. In about 20 minutes she turned off the burners.

She fished the carrots out of the pot and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out of the pot and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and poured it into a bowl. She then asked her son, "Tell me what do you see?"

"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," he replied. His mother brought him closer and asked him to feel the carrots. He did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked her son to take an egg and breakk it. After pulling off the shell, he observed the hard-boiled egg. Finally, the mother asked her son to sip the coffee. The son smiled, as he tasted its rich aroma. then the son asked his mother, "What does it mean?"

His mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity (boiling water). Each had reacted differently. The carrots went in strong, hard,and unrelenting. However, it became weak after being subjected to the boiling water. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. However, the ground coffee beans were unique. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

His mother asked her son, "Which are you?"

When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean? Ayou the carrot that seems strong, but with the pain and adversity, do you wilt and becomesoft and lose your strenghth? Are you the egg that starts with aw malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Do you have a fluid spirit, but after hardship or some trail, do you become hardened and stiff? Does your shell look the same, but on the inside are you bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart? Or are you like the coffee bean, who changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain?

Which are you? With God's love we can change the world around us.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

In this Life.....I'm a Woman

In my next life.....I'd like to come back as a bear.

When you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that. Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that too.

When you're a girl bear you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts) while you're sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute & cuddly cubs. I could definitely deal with that.

If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too. I could deal with that.

If you're a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs AND excess body fat.

YUP....Gonna be a BEAR ! ! !

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Paraprosdokian

I had to look up "paraprosdokian". Here is the definition:
"Figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a humorous situation."


"Where there's a will, I want to be in it," is a type of paraprosdokian.



1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.

3. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

8. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening,' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

10. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.

11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.

12. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'

13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.

17. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

18. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

19. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

20. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.

21. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.

22. You're never too old to learn something stupid.

23. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

24. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

25. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

26. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

27. A diplomat is someone who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you look forward to the trip.

28. Hospitality is making your guests feel at home even when you wish they were.

29. I always take life with a grain of salt. Plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.

30. When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.




And now for my favorite Words of Wisdom:
"The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."