1. When I was born, I was given a choice...a big pecker or a good memory...
I don't remember what I chose.
2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.
4. Impotence: nature's way of saying, "No hard feelings..."
5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men...
'don't' & 'stop'...unless they are used together.
6. Panties: not the best thing on earth...but next to the best thing on earth.
7. There are three stages in a man's life:
Tri-weekly.....Try weekly.....& Try weakly
8. Virginity can be cured.
9. Virginity is not dignity, it's a lack of opportunity.
10. Having sex is like playing bridge.....if you don't have a good partner...
you better have a good hand.
11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dial were too small.
12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.
13. Question: What's an Australian kiss??
Answer: The sane thing as a French kiss, only down under.
14. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing.
He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing.
15. Question: What are the three biggest tragedies in a man's life??
Answer: Life sucks...the Job sucks...and the wife doesn't.
16. Question: Why do men find it difficult to make eye comtact??
Answer: Breasts don't have eyes.
17. Despite the old saying, "Don't take your troubles to bed"...
many men still sleep with their wives!
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